my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
