worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
