apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
