I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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