And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
