i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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