Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
