Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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