I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
