You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
