there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
