Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
