I smell stomach acid.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
