Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize