I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
