Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
