Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I wish my penis had an off switch
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
