I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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