census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
