Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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