Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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