Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
