I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Randomize
