I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize