i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
