When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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