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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
