About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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