She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
