i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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