I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
