I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
