I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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