My girlfriend figured out who you are.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
