I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize