god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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