Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
