i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
