hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
