his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
