Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Randomize
