what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Success! We fucked roommates!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize