Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
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