He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
