i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
