So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
