I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
