Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
