We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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