she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize