Whod you bang
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Randomize
