Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
