This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Randomize
