i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
