Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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