Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize