Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
