i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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