Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
