Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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