when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
