But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
