Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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