got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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