What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
