I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
