I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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