the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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