I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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