i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
