No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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