apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize