Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
