i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
The struggles of a small town man whore
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
