I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
