hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
